Faith

Free

Last year, my “word” for the year was “fearless.” I wish I could say that I’ve mastered fear and become brave in all areas. But that’s simply not true. Neither was that my goal. My goal was to face my fears rather than letting fear control me. Within the first few months of year my absolute worst fears became reality. It was confirmed that my ex was still with the mistress who ended our marriage (despite him specifically telling me the opposite), she was pregnant (before the divorce was final), and they were getting married. This information surfaced as I wrestled with my divorce being finalized and struggled to rebuild my life. Insecurity and fear clouded every decision. But God showed His faithfulness and constancy in the midst of utter chaos, and He became my source of bravery and courage. 

“Steel-Toed Stilettos” was born out of the work God was doing in my life, and it continues to be a reflection of how God is equipping me for the path He is leading me down. Putting my story in written form, sharing it with each of you in such an open and public way – this is one way that I am being fearless. My second major act of fearlessness was sending a boy a message. I stand firmly by both of these actions; they have made all the difference in how 2019 proceeded for me. 

As I look towards a new year, the word “Free” fills my mind. I pray often for freedom – freedom from anxiety, freedom from the past, freedom from insecurity. Freedom is not an escape from circumstances, though. Freedom involves choice and responsibility, and we must choose well to experience God’s best. 

In Deuteronomy 30, Moses tells Israel that a choice is set before them- follow God’s commands (beginning by loving Him completely), or choosing their own way to live. Loving God brings life, loving idols and false gods brings death. Joshua delivers a similar message in Joshua 24- choose who you will serve; he choose to serve the Lord. In Romans 8, Paul talks about true freedom that comes through Christ. Here, too, we see that a choice is involved- we can choose to surrender to live according to the flesh, which always leads to death, or we can choose to live in the Spirit, which always leads to life. 

2020 will bring many choices. We will choose how to spend our time and what to put in our bodies. We will make decisions about our jobs, money, relationships, entertainment, apparel, and a whole lot more. Living free begins with choosing well. Acknowledging that perfection is impossible, I’m striving to live free in 2020 by first choosing to set my mind on Christ. 

A new year is before us: Let’s choose we’ll so that we can live free.

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